JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM (2019)

Review by LL Soares

At this point, we know what a new JOHN WICK movie is going to be like. It’s a formula that doesn’t change much from film to film, because it works so well. CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM is more of the same. Two hours and ten minutes of killing. By gun, by martial arts, by any way (or blunt object available) possible. I enjoy these movies, and CHAPTER 3 was no exception.

The plot, what there is of one, is pretty simple. In CHAPTER 2, John Wick (Keanu Reeves, SPEED, 1994, and THE MATRIX, 1999) killed someone on the grounds of the Continental Hotel, a sanctuary for assassins. It’s one rule is that you do not kill anyone on the premises. So, having broken this golden rule, Wick is a man marked for death by the High Table, the mysterious group who lord it over the hired killers of the world.

The manager of the Continental, Mr. Winston (Ian McShane, of from the series DEADWOOD and currently on the Starz Channel’s AMERICAN GODS) gives Wick an hour’s grace period before he becomes a duck in a shooting gallery. Then, a 14 million dollar bounty is put on his head. As the movie goes along, this amount will increase.

So, as CHAPTER 3 opens, Wick is running around New York City, trying to stay alive, as various killers notice him, and hunt him down. This includes everyone from martial artists in Chinatown to the Russian mob. Wick manages to stay alive, leaving an ocean of dead bodies in his wake. Eventually, he ends up at the ballet school of an old friend, simply called The Director (Anjelica Huston, PRIZZI’S HONOR, 1985, THE GRIFTERS, 1990), and he calls in an old debt to demand her help in getting out of the country. His destination: Morocco.

In Morocco, Wick does more killing to stay alive, and calls in another marker with a friend named Sofia (Halle Berry, MONSTER’S BALL, 2001, and the original Storm in the X-MEN movies of the early oughts), a killer who has two very obedient dogs. John Wick loves dogs, so you can see why they are (or were) friends. He wants to set up a meeting with a member of the High Table to negotiate for his life. But things don’t go as planned.

Meanwhile, a new character called The Adjudicator (Asia Kate Dillon, best known for playing Taylor Mason on the terrific Showtime series BILLIONS, and previously on ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK) shows up in New York. She works for the High Table, and, while she’s there to search for Wick, she’s also there to punish those who helped him get away, including ol’ Winston, as well as the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne, Morpheus in THE MATRIX, 1999, and Jack Crawford on the excellent series, HANNIBAL, from 2013 – 2015), who leads an army of killers disguised as derelicts, and The Director, who we saw earlier. The Adjudicator is vicious but does not get her hands dirty. She has a dude named Zero (Mark Dacascos, BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF, 2001, and “The Chairman” of IRON CHEF AMERICA: THE SERIES, 2004 -2018) and his lethal ninja warriors to do the dirty work, like meeting out punishments.

After a sojourn in the desert, Wick returns home to take on The Adjudicator and her men, in a Continental Hotel that suddenly finds itself no longer a sacred place (The Adjudicator reduces it to “Deconsecrated” status in her mission to get rid of Wick once and for all, so killing on the premises is now fair game).

Winston, of course, has some tricks of his own up his sleeve, and his right hand man, Charon (Lance Reddick, THE WIRE, 2002-2008, and FRINGE, 2008-2013) shows Wick to a storeroom full of guns that would make an NRA member giddy.

Sure, the series fetishizes guns and violence, but the fact that it is so over the top, and so unapologetically vicious, is part of its appeal. Clearly I’m not the only one with an affinity for Wick and Company, since these movies have been doing increasingly well at the box office. The first film made about $14 million, this newest one made over $54 million in its opening weekend. Expect more “Chapters” to come.

JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM (which means “Prepare for War” as revealed in some subtitles later on) is directed by former stuntman Chad Stahelski, who also directed the previous two JOHN WICK films. He knows he’s in on a good thing, and I hope he keeps directing these films. The screenplay is by Derek Kolstad, Shay Hatten, Chris Collins, and Mac Abrams, featuring characters created by Kolstad (who wrote the scripts for the first two movies by himself).

These movies work for a lot of reasons. The first being that it’s the perfect role for Keanu Reeves, who has had an uneven career as an actor, but who does especially well with stoic characters who reveal little emotion, like Neo in the MATRIX films and now here as John Wick. He’s just perfectly cast in these types of things, and is enjoyable to watch. The rest of the cast is also very strong. And then there’s the non-stop action, which is filmed exquisitely by Stahelski (along with his cinematographer, Dan Laustsen, of course) who, as a former stuntman, knows how to do this stuff right. The fight scenes throughout are excellent. Stahelski is very good at pacing.

If you’re a fan of violent films, or simply a fan of the previous films in the series, then you’ll be happy with the new Chapter. Me, I give it 3 ½ knives.

© Copyright 2019 by LL Soares

 

LL Soares gives JOHN WICK 3: PARABELLUM a score of 3 1/2 knives.

Stab_2Stab_2Stab_2HALF

Advertisements

LUTHER THE GEEK (1989)

Movie Review by LL Soares

Another movie that I’d heard about for years, but hadn’t seen. LUTHER THE GEEK came out in 1989 and was directed by Carlton J. Albright. Albright also wrote the screenplay, using the name Whitey Styles. This is another one of those productions where the director only made one film. Although Albright also produced and wrote the screenplay for THE CHILDREN (1980) and produced DREAMS COME TRUE (1984). But that’s it for film credits. And this is the only where he’s the director.

LUTHER THE GEEK is yet another low-budget horror movie, but it’s got some effective scenes, and is worth checking out. The thing is, it could have been even better!

We start out with a flashback to when Luther was a kid. Little Luther (Carlton Williams, who is actually director Albright’s son) sneaks into a circus tent with a bunch of hillbilly men to see a real, live “geek.” This scene is basically just there to show us what a geek is (in case anyone didn’t understand the title). A guy in a cage is given a chicken and bites its head off and drinks its blood. Geeks did exist in carnivals in the America of yore, and were most often town drunks who agreed to play the geek in return for getting all the liquor they could drink. Anyway, little Luther is astounded by the display. At one point, though, a man knocks him to the ground and Luther hits his head, knocking out some teeth. He realizes, though, that he likes the taste of blood.

We next see a parole board discussing a candidate who is being considered for early release. Luther Watts was in prison for 20 years. The vote is close, but Luther is paroled for being a “model prisoner.” When we next see him, we learn two things. First, he replaced the teeth he lost as a kid with some metallic choppers, which he files down. Second, there is nothing normal-seeming about this guy, and there’s no reason why anyone would parole him. Did that board even meet this guy in person? To give you an idea what he’s like, Luther isn’t even called “Luther” in the credits. He’s called THE FREAK and is played by Edward Terry.

Anyway, right away, Luther gets into trouble at a supermarket, eating raw eggs and making a mess. The manager calls the police and escorts him out. On a bench beside a bus stop, he sits beside an old lady (Gail Buxton in an old lady wig), then proceeds to attack her, biting her neck viciously until she bleeds to death. Somehow, the creep gets away!

Eventually he makes his way to a lonely farmhouse, at first to chase the chickens around. There we meet Hilary (Joan Roth), a woman whose husband is either dead or away. She is terrorized by Luther, until they’re interrupted by Hilary’s college-age daughter, Beth (Stacy Haiduk) and her boyfriend Rob (Thomas Mills) who show up unexpectedly. Beth has a sexy shower scene before she and Rob join Hilary in being terrorized. At one point Luther steals Rob’s motorcycle, but can’t ride it, and cracks it up. Dumb-ass Rob chases him down to get his bike back, but learns to regret it.

There’s not much plot to this one. It’s basically a home invasion flick where a psycho breaks into a house and makes some people’s lives miserable. At one point a clueless police officer shows up (of course), played by Jerry Clarke, and let’s just say he doesn’t save the day.

At no point does Luther join a carnival and become a geek, though. He just terrorizes this poor family.

Despite the fact that they had very little to work with that makes sense, Roth and Haiduk aren’t too bad, with Roth being the best performer here, and cute Haiduk doing a decent job. Haiduk, in fact, is probably the most successful actor in this movie, since she has 70 credits on IMDB.com. LUTHER was only her second film, and she went on to get roles on the TV shows SUPERBOY (1988 – 1992, as Lana Lang), the underappreciated vampire series KINDRED: THE EMBRACED (1996), and MELROSE PLACE (in 1997).  More recently she played characters on HEROES, PRISON BREAK, and TRUE BLOOD, as well as the soap operas ALL MY CHILDREN, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, and DAYS OF OUR LIVES!

But here’s where I get to the part about it having the potential to be better. Lead Edward Terry isn’t completely awful as Luther. He is intimidating, and sometimes creepy, but he’s pretty much a one-note character. And he doesn’t speak. All he does is cluck like a chicken. This actually works in the eerie final scene, but up until then, you wonder how this guy is able to move around in the real world at all with his weird clucking and completely psychotic behavior.

It would have been a lot more effective if he was able to act normal sometimes and trick people into trusting him. As a metal-toothed, clucking freakshow, no one is going to go near him if they can help it, and there is absolutely no way this guy would be given parole. He can’t assimilate into normal society at all; he doesn’t even try. He’s more like a cartoon caricature than a real human being.

If Terry had played him as a more articulate guy who vacillated between vulnerable/normal and a complete psycho, I think the movie could have been a lot more effective, and more of a cult classic. More personality and complexity would have made this a plum role! But I can’t blame Terry, because he’s just doing what the script calls for. Albright’s script is the culprit here, keeping the movie from ever being truly scary.

Sadly, Terry was only in this one (the part was actually written with him in mind to play it), and in THE CHILDREN (mentioned previously). But he was in the art department for the John Huston film THE DEAD (1987), strangely enough.

But with a more complex character (maybe he would only start clucking when he was really going off the deep end), or at least a smarter one, LUTHER THE GEEK could have transcended its low-budget limitations. As is, the creepy-ass ending works despite the rest of the weak script, rather than because of it.

That said, I did enjoy watching this one. It’s not a total dud (and believe me, I’ve seen a lot of total duds), but I found its flaws really frustrating. Oh, and for TROMA fans, this one was released on DVD (and I’m assuming on VHS back in the day) by Troma Studios. The special effects makeup, which actually isn’t bad, is by Mike Tristano, who refused to be credited for the film. There’s also an interesting synth score by Vern Carlson, who also did the music for GALAXINA (1980).

Maybe instead of remaking classic movies that were done right the first time, someone could remake LUTHER THE GEEK and get it right. That’s what remakes should be for – helping failed films with potential reach a higher level. Unfortunately, I don’t see LUTHER getting remade anytime soon.

© Copyright 2019 by LL Soares

 

 

HER SMELL (2019)

Review by LL Soares

Some movies, you just take it for granted, should be a great time. I’m a big fan of actress Elizabeth Moss. You might know her from the TV shows THE WEST WING, where she played Zoey Bartlet from 1999-2006; MAD MEN, where she played Peggy Olson from 2007 – 2015; and THE HANDMAID’S TALE, which she is currently starring in AS Offred/June. She’s also a movie star, having appeared in movies like Jordon Peele’s US (2019), HIGH-RISE (2015), GET HIM TO THE GREEK (2010), and the fascinating THE ONE I LOVE (2014). She’s the kind of actress who leaves a big impression, and it’s easy to believe that you’ll love just about anything you see her in.

I’m also heavily into music, especially punk rock, and Moss plays a punk singer in her new movie HER SMELL. One modeled after singers like Courtney Love and Patti Smith.

Elizabeth Moss as an out-of-control singer in an all-girl punk rock band? It should be a home run, right? Strangely, it’s not.

HER SMELL has Moss playing Becky Something, the lead singer and guitarist of the band Something She. Her band mates are drummer Ali van der Wolff (Gayle Rankin, also in the Netflix series GLOW and the movie THE GREATEST SHOWMAN, 2017) and Marielle Hell (Agyness Deyn, CLASH OF THE TITANS, 2010) on bass. Becky has a daughter who she brings on tour with her sometimes (at first, I thought she was Ali’s daughter) named Tama. Her entourage (some willing, some not) includes her “shaman” Ya-ema (Eka Darville, JESSICA JONES), who follows her around and burns candles, her always-frustrated manager Howard (Eric Stoltz, MASK , 1985 and PULP FICTION, 1994), her mother Ania (Virginia Madsen, CANDYMAN, 1992, and SIDEWAYS, 2004 ), and her husband Danny (Dan Stevens, of the shows DOWNTON ABBY and LEGION, and the movies THE GUEST, 2014, AND APOSTLE, 2018) a radio disc jockey who keeps bringing divorce papers with him that Becky won’t look at, much less sign.

The movie opens with Something She performing (just one song!) and then leaving and going backstage, in one long, rambling scene where Tama gets passed from person to person, and Becky whines a lot. In fact, whining seems to be Becky’s superpower. For a singer with adoring fans (not sure how that happened!), she’s very insecure (of course, nothing new) and consults with her shaman on every decision she makes (mostly bad ones), as he follows her around constantly, and she bitches at everyone about how they’ve let her down. She’s also heavily into alcohol and drugs (of course). Poor Dan just wants to get the hell away from her, but he’s linked to her because of Tama.

Next, we go to a recording studio, where Becky won’t leave, even though their time is up, and no one has the guts to kick her out (why not just call the cops? I’m sure she’d love the publicity). Along comes The Akergirls, a young band that obviously reminds Becky a lot of her own band when they were just starting out. The Akergirls consist of Roxie Rotten (Ashley Benson of PRETTY LITTLE LIARS and SPRING BREAKERS, 2012), Dottie O.Z. (Dylan Gelula, CHASING LIFE, 2014-2015) and drummer Crassie Cassie (model and actress Cara Delevigne, who always gives a fun performance, and who you may recognize from PAPER TOWNS, 2014, VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS, 2017, and SUICIDE SQUAD, 2016). They’re the new discoveries of Howard, who is trying to get their debut album recorded, because it’s clear that he’s not making much money off Becky anymore and he desperately needs a hit. The new band idolizes Something She, especially Becky, and feel honored just to be in the same studio with them. When Becky’s bandmates take off, completely fed up with her behavior, Becky uses the new girls’ adulation to manipulate them into being her new backup band in the studio, much to Howard’s chagrin (now she definitely won’t be leaving anytime soon).

Later on, at a big gig where the Akergirls are opening for Something She, Becky loses her shit completely and makes a scene, which ends up with her running out on stage, bloody and dazed. This will lead to a hiatus, where Becky tries to get her act together and make a comeback.

The big meltdown includes Becky showing up two hours late, with an impromptu camera crew in tow, and includes more whining until she breaks a bottle and cuts herself and Ali. The bottle cutting seems to pop up because up until then Becky is just annoying as hell, and it’s like the filmmaker suddenly thought, “Hey, I have to actually give her an edge.” The movie is written and directed by Alex Ross Perry, who also gave us LISTEN UP PHILIP (2015) and QUEEN OF EARTH (2015). Oddly enough, he was also one of the writers of the screenplay for the recent Disney film CHRISTOPHER ROBIN (2018).

There are things I liked about HER SMELL, mostly the supporting roles by the members of Becky’s band (Rankin and Deyn are terrific), and The Akergirls. Dan Stevens, always a good actor, is pretty much wasted here as the sad ex who wants to be free from Becky’s psychodrama, but can’t get away.

Moss, who is normally terrific, is mostly irritating here, which is what she’s supposed to be, I guess. But the movie is an endurance test that never really ever making it worth our while. It just doesn’t amount to anything. We’ve seen this kind of movie too many times before: the out-of-control rock star whose life spirals out of control. (Hell, we just saw it in Bradley Cooper’s A STAR IS BORN last year). The thing is, Moss’s Becky offers absolutely nothing new to the equation. She’s not different or interesting in her “out of control” behavior (which is more aggravating than anarchic). Hell, even her band’s songs are kind of boring (and definitely forgettable). I can’t really blame Moss for this. She clearly gives the role her all, in a performance that has been labeled “fearless” by some critics.

My problem here is with Perry’s script, which never once convinces me that Becky Something is someone I should care about. She’s not a profound musician, she’s not a fascinating human being, she’s just an annoyance that people put up with only because they either need her for some reason (employment, motherhood) or are somehow misguided enough to be her fans. If her performances were truly incendiary, then I could see the appeal. But they’re not. Moss tries like hell to make this woman real, but I had a hard time accepting her as a believable character. Whether in total chaos mode or, later on, sober and seemingly reflective, she just never really seems “genuine.” She seems more like a rock star caricature than a true source of drama.

Amber Heard (of DRIVE ANGRY, 2011, and Mera in AQUAMAN, 2018) also appears as Zelda, a bigger star who knew Becky back when they were both starting out, and who tries to help her out. Becky treats her like a hanger-on, and resents any help that’s offered, even though it’s clear Zelda is successful and talented, and frankly, she doesn’t have to waste her time hanging around Becky’s “I’m gonna fall apart all the time” shtick. I’m sure she has better things to do.

So did I.

In something like A STAR IS BORN, Cooper and Lady Gaga were convincing as rock stars, her on the way up, him spiraling down. Not once did I find Becky Something convincing. And that’s really too bad, considering the talent involved in this movie.

I give it two knives.

(c) Copyright 2019 by LL Soares

LL Soares gives HER SMELL ~ 2 knives

Stab_2Stab_2

AVENGERS: ENDGAME (2019)

Review By LL Soares

(Warning: Review Contains Spoilers)

After enjoying the non-stop action of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (2018), I was really looking forward to the second part of the story, AVENGERS: ENDGAME. Marvel has been pretty reliable (for the most part) when it comes to delivering decent superhero flicks, so I wasn’t too concerned about anything going wrong. And, based on its box-office take alone, ENDGAME is a bonafide blockbuster. But, on a personal note, I didn’t really enjoy this one all that much.

We begin where things left off in INFINITY WAR. That villainous purple guy Thanos (Josh Brolin) has spent the entire movie hunting down the five “Infinity stones” that will give him ultimate power over the universe. He even has a specially-constructed “gauntlet” to hold the gems in one place. As INFINITY WAR ended, not only did Thanos get all the gems, despite the best efforts of just about every hero in the Marvel universe to stop him, but he also puts them together on the gauntlet, and snaps his fingers, eliminating HALF OF ALL LIFE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.

SNAP!

Suddenly, superheroes we know and love begin to disintegrate, along with half the population of Earth.

As ENDGAME opens, we realize that nothing has stopped that. It wasn’t a dream. Half of the Avengers are gone.

Then it jumps ahead five years.

Captain Marvel (just recently introduced last month in the movie CAPTAIN MARVEL) shows up on Earth and offers to help the remaining Avengers track down Thanos. The remaining members include Black Widow (Scarlet Johannson), who has pretty much been holding down the fort at Avengers Mansion and is in charge; Captain America (Chris Evans) who is leading support groups for people who lost loved ones in the big purge; and Rhodey/War Machine (Don Cheadle). Two Avengers who we didn’t see in INFINITY WAR show up. One is Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), who was with his family when the Thanos incident happened (why not helping his team?) and all of them vaporize at once, leaving him alone to pick up the pieces. Hawkeye pretty much goes off the deep end and, without much else to live for, becomes a vigilante, traveling around the globe and killing bad guys. Black Widow has been having Rhodey keep tabs on him. And Ant-Man (Paul Rudd), who went to the quantam realm at the end of ANT-MAN AND THE WASP (2018), finally comes back from his journey, to find himself alone and five years in the future after the events of INFINITY WAR.

Meanwhile, Thor has become a fat alcoholic in a place called New Asgard (somewhere on Earth, the Netherlands?). Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) has figured out how to alter his biology to become “Good Hulk” a cross between the Hulk’s size and brawn and Dr. Banner’s intelligence and calmer demeaner. Rocket Racoon is still around, too.

And on a disabled spaceship with diminishing reserves, Nebula (Karen Gillan) and Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) are pretty much waiting around to die, when Captain Marvel happens by and brings the two of them back to earth without much effort.

With Captain Marvel’s help, the remaining team are able to track down Thanos to a distant planet, where he’s living a monastic life after killing half the universe (he accomplished everything he set out to do, so his work is done). The reunion ends badly for Thanos (in one of the movie’s best scenes), but it still doesn’t bring back everyone we’ve lost.

But the quantam science that helps Ant-Man shrink to a sub-atomic level also holds the key to the possibility of time travel. And so Tony Stark uses his super brain to figure out a way to make it work. Which leads us to a huge mission to go back in time and find all of the Infinity gems before Thanos does, thus altering the history of the universe.

With the time traveling, there are a lot of tearful reunions, of course. Tony interacts with his dead father (John Slattery), now younger and alive, and with no idea who he is; Thor reunites with his death mother (Rene Russo); and Captain America happens to catch a glimpse of the love of his life, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell), who he lost when he was cryogenically frozen way back in the 40s. The Hulk meets the Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) who isn’t a loved one, but who is the Sorcerer Supreme before Dr. Strange takes the mantle, and the keeper of the Soul Stone. Nebula finds not only her younger self, but her dead sister Gamora (Zoe Saldana), now younger and alive, and of course, her villainous daddy, Thanos.

And so goes the mission to stop Thanos, reverse what happened, and save everyone who was vaporized when Thanos won the Infinity War in the last movie. Some major characters die (I won’t say who, because some people still plan to see the movie), and things wrap up in a neat and clean manner, with a bow on top.

And, for the most part, I found this one difficult to sit through. Not because, like a lot of people in the audience who had brought Kleenex, because I had a strong emotional investment with these characters. No, I didn’t shed any tears, dear reader. But I found it difficult because unlike the fast-paced perfection of INFINITY WARS, ENDGAME seemed like a real slow-motion slog, and I felt every minute of its three hour and 1 minute running time.

ENDGAME starts out great, until the survivors find Thanos and get their revenge. Up until that point, I really enjoyed this movie. And then, we get to the long, overly complex time travel mission, which takes up most of the movie, and I found myself bored and annoyed.

First of all, I really hate it when movies try to manipulate your emotions. Whether it’s “sad music” that cues you to feel sad in a Spielberg movie, or melodramatic deaths, I find movies that try to tell you what to feel kind of detestable. Second, even though I’ve seen every single Marvel movie and should have felt as invested as the other audience members, I just…didn’t. Which made me realize something. I grew up with these characters in the comics – some are in comics I still read – and so the emotional investment should be there. But the movie versions of these characters are often very different – changed sometimes drastically to fit the mold created by the Marvel Cinematic Universe – and thus just aren’t as sympathetic to me. And for every Tony Stark or Steve Rogers, there’s an awful lot of characters who just haven’t been developed enough onscreen to care a lot about.

And time travel is a problem. For some reason, it’s really hard to do well. I think time travel is what also killed the TV show HEROES, after its initially strong first season back in 2006. Once time travel was added to the mix, the show jumped the shark and just stopped being “must see TV.” And here, the super complex (and not very logical) time travel super mission just left me cold. I don’t know why.

So between the overlong time travel stuff, and the constant need for the movie to try to manipulate and pander to its audience, to get some kind of emotional reaction, I just sat there, not enjoying it at all.

There’s yet another great big showdown at the end, and for a short time the movie got interesting again. Even if there were just way too many characters cluttering up the screen (funny, I didn’t feel that so strongly in INFINITY WAR). Then the movie was over, and I just wanted to move on.

My knees were killing me from having to sit down for three hours. If it was a good movie, I wouldn’t have minded.

Like INFINITY WAR, ENDGAME was directed by Anthony and Joe Russo, and also like INFINITY WAR, the screenplay was by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely. That said, I’m surprised how different the two movies are.

I’m sure other people saw this movie and absolutely loved it. A lot of them were sitting near me, crying into their Kleenex. But for me, this was a long, drawn-out, yawn. I really wanted to like ENDGAME. I went in expecting to be blown away by it. But it just didn’t happen that way.

I give it two and a half knives out of five.

The things I liked about the movie? Thor is still the most entertaining character, and Chris Hemsworth was the most compelling one here. Rocket Racoon continues to have great chemistry with him. And while a lot of Marvel movies tend to have weak villians, Thanos is probably the best one so far, and I dug anything that involved him. Because he was finally a worthy adversary for the Marvel heroes.

Although I was never a huge Captain America fan, I think Chris Evans was perfectly cast in the role. The same for Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark, even though he stopped being fun for me and started getting on my nerves around the time of IRON MAN 3 (2013).

The AVENGERS movies have been a see-saw for me. I still think the first THE AVENGERS (2012) was the best, and a great introduction to the team. I kind of hated AGE OF ULTRON (2015), even though Ultron is really cool in the comics and it gave the movies a chance to give us a cinematic version of The Vision. I loved INFINITY WAR. And I kind of hated ENDGAME. Up and down. Like a see-saw.

But that’s been pretty much my entire take on the Marvel movies. For every one I really enjoy, there’s one that I thought was a waste of time. For every IRON MAN (2008) or THOR: RAGNAROK (2017), there was an IRON MAN 3 or a THOR: THE DARK WORLD (2013). Maybe that’s why I wasn’t emotionally invested – because the entire series of movies has been so uneven.

I thought ENDGAME was overblown and kind of a letdown for the final wrap-up for Marvel’s first ten years dominating theaters. I kind of wish things had ended with INFINITY WAR instead.

But that’s me. You may feel differently. And more power to you.

For me, this was an anti-climax.

© Copyright 2019 by LL Soares

 

LL Soares gives AVENGERS: ENDGAME ~ 2 1/2 Knives

Stab_2Stab_2HALF

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (2018)

A Cinema Knife Fight Review by LL Soares & Dan Keohane

(THE SCENE: A ravaged alien world. From beneath the rubble of a crashed spacecraft, LL SOARES and DAN KEOHANE emerge. LS is wearing a “Team Thanos” T-shirt and DK is wearing a “Team Iron Man” T-Shirt)

LS (spies something shiny on the ground): That wouldn’t be an Infinity Stone, would it?

DK: No, I don’t think there are any of those left.

LS: Too bad.

DK: So why did you ask me to board the spaceship that just crash landed on this desolate planet anyway?

LS: To review the new Avengers movie, of course. A lot of people have been anticipating this one, where the Avengers finally come face-to-face with the “Mad Titan” himself, Thanos. Why don’t you bring us up to speed, Dan.

DK: So here we are, ten years after Marvel Studios released IRON MAN (2008), its first (of many) epic motion pictures in its self-proclaimed Marvel Cinematic Universe, with the release of what is without a doubt the culmination of years of carefully-crafted (and, at times, complex) storylines around the most powerful objects in the universe, the Infinity Stones, and the sociopathic alien genius Thanos’s (Josh Brolin, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, 2007, SICARIO, 2015, and as Cable in the upcoming DEADPOOL 2, 2018) pursuit of them in order to… well, until sitting down to watch the epic AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (2018), all we really knew was that Thanos wanted the stones in order to wield the ultimate power in the universe.

LS: Yeah, that’s all you know if you only know Thanos from the snippets we’ve seen of him so far in Marvel movies, mostly in “Easter egg” scenes in the end credits. These movies have been building up Thanos’s big arrival for a long time now. Remember that he was behind the alien invasion of earth way back in the very first AVENGERS movie in 2012. It’s about time the sneaky purple people eater came out and showed his face.

DK: He eats people?

LS: Huh?

DK: You called him a purple people eater.

LS: Like the old novelty song. I didn’t mean it literally.

DK: Okay, I thought I missed a scene.

LS: Although it would be cool if he ate people, wouldn’t it? On top of being a murdering madman.

DK: Now—and you need to really pay attention to this film, especially Thanos’s story—we finally understand the reason for this lifelong, evil quest: Thanos thinks he’s actually helping everyone in the universe, by killing half of all sentient species, and thus freeing up resources to allow the other half to live wonderful, happy lives. Pretty big task, and admittedly very frightening.

LS: What a sweet guy! He just wants to help!

In the comics, he actually does all this mass killing to impress his sweetheart, none other than the personification of Death. He’s trying to woo her by delivering as many dead souls as he can. But I guess that didn’t really translate well in a big blockbuster movie.

DK: INFINITY WARS opens just a few minutes after THOR: RAGNAROK (2017) ends. Or, I should say, after the first post-credits scene of RAGNAROK ends, as the last survivors of the destruction of Thor’s home planet, Asgard, are approached by a massive, ominous spacecraft. This ship, of course, belongs to Thanos and his powerful cadre of henchpeople. As the scene opens, they’ve just murdered half of the ship’s population (after a few more moments the other half die too, not to worry). Only Thor (Chris Hemsworth, GHOSTBUSTERS, 2016), his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston, KONG: SKULL ISLAND, 2016) and gatekeeper Heimdall (Idris Elba, THE DARK TOWER, 2017) are left, and currently being tortured by number one henchman Ebony Maw (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, LOVE/HATE TV series).

LS: Well, actually Gaping…er Ebony Maw is more like a CGI creation with Tom Vaughan-Lawlor’s voice. And I guess he acted for the motion capture effects, too.

DK: The way technology is progressing, it wouldn’t surprise me in a few years if they make everyone run around with green tights and polka dots on their face, so they can CGI the cast any way they want. But we digress. For this discussion, though, let’s just say he plays Ebony Maw.

LS: Okay.

DK: Mr. Maw is torturing them to learn the location of an Infinity Stone, which everyone watching THOR RAGNAROK knows was lifted by Loki just before the destruction of his homeworld. It does not go well for most of our heroes, and anti-heroes. And this is just the first scene for crying out loud.

This is the first of many extremely dark and violent moments in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. Thanos and his minions are quickly established as murderous, powerful creatures with a single focus: acquire all six Infinity Stones, and heaven help you if you get in their way.

And get in the way our heroes do (just about all of them, with a few exceptions). The movie is two hours and forty minutes of one insanely beautiful and clever battle scene after another. It is relentless, all the way until the credits roll.

LS: And beyond, because there’s yet another of those “end credit” secret scenes. But just one this time, at the very end of the credits. People are so used to these things that the entire sold-out audience where I saw the movie stayed in their seats through every last drop of the credits, knowing a big end scene would pop up. Have I mentioned how much I hate the fact that Marvel has made all of us have to sit through all the credits?

DK: I used to love watching the credits. All those people who worked on the movie. Someone had to give them their due.

LS: Yea, but you told me once you love watching grass grow, too.

DK: Surprisingly, I didn’t find all the non-stop action to be too much. Unlike much of CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (2016), which was another non-stop action movie/political argument, I personally found it all a bit tiresome near the end. I think I’m in the minority thinking this, however. In this case, though INFINITY WAR started with a bang (literally) and did not let up, I was riveted to every second of it.

LS: Come on, CIVIL WAR was one of the best of the Marvel flicks! But you’re right about INFINITY WAR. Despite the long run time and abundance of battles and action scenes, it does keep you involved throughout. The only time I got even a little bored was when a horde of nameless creatures swarmed over Wakanda. But even that lag didn’t last long.

DK: A lot of this had to do with the smart, quick dialogue between the characters, and the exceptional performances by just about everyone in the cast. Unlike much of the performances in the final HOBBIT film, where everyone seemed very tired and ready to go home, the actors in INIFINITY WAR absolutely brought their A-game, including directing brothers Anthony and Joe Russo (who also directed all three CAPTAIN AMERICA films so far).

LS: Now I’m glad I didn’t see the HOBBIT movies. But yeah, there sure are a lot of superheroes in this movie. Someone should call the Guinness Book of World Records.

DK: After some shuffling and relocating of the cast, we basically end up with three distinct groups: Thor, who, after meeting up with the Guardians of the Galaxy, goes with Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper, AMERICAN SNIPER, 2014) and a sullen teenaged (and as funny as always) Groot (sparingly voiced by Vin Diesel), heading to an ancient forge planet called Nidavellir, manned by none other than the always-awesome Peter Dinklage (GAME OF THRONES TV series) as the last surviving dwarf Eitri.

LS: That’s some big dwarf!

DK: The irony was not lost on me. But Dinklage’s shattered, brooding Eitri was fantastic, even if he was only in the film for a little bit. Meanwhile, hunting down Thanos himself are the remainder of the Guardians of the Galaxy: Peter Quill (Chris Pratt, the upcoming JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM, 2018), Gamora (Zoe Saldana, STAR TREK, 2009) Mantis (Pom Klementieff) and Drax (Dave Bautista).

LS: With Bautista’s Drax still stealing every scene he’s in! That guy always cracks me up. And who knew Thor and Rocket would have such cool chemistry together? They’re my favorite team in the movie. And, for once, Gamora has a major role in this one, since she is Thanos’s daughter and all.

DK: Well, she’s really his adopted/abducted daughter. But it’s nice to see Zoe Saldana’s Gamora get so much screen time in this movie. And I agree, the scenes with Thor and the Guardians were, as always, show stealers and very, very funny.

Also hunting Thanos through space, though only because of events beyond their control, are Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch, SHERLOCK TV series), Spider-Man (Tom Holland, HOW I LIVE NOW, 2013) and Iron Man (Robert Downy, Jr, WEIRD SCIENCE, 1985).

LS: With more funny banter, and the clashing egos of Strange and Stark.

One thing that puzzled me. They end up on Titan, Thanos’s homeworld. Everyone keeps saying it’s a planet. But isn’t it really the largest moon of Saturn?

DK: Nobody cares.

LS: What, no astronomers in the audience?

DK: Meanwhile, back on earth, the rest of the Avengers (remember, this is an Avengers movie) gather together after a couple of Thanos’s groupies try to steal the Infinity Stone embedded in the forehead of the android Avenger, Vision’s (Paul Bettany) head. This group includes Captain America (the third Chris); the Scarlett Witch (Elizabeth Olson); the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson); a Hulk-less Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo); the Falcon (Anthony Mackie); Wong (Benedict Wong) who is Doctor Strange’s assistant; and Don Cheadle as War Machine.

And we haven’t even gotten to the second act’s introduction of the country of Wakanda, Black Panther and everyone there.

LS: Yeah, this movie jumps all over the place, from different parts of Earth, to different parts of the galaxy.

DK: I have to admit, this may be an Avengers movie, but it really didn’t feel like it. I mean, there’s every major character from every major Marvel film, sans DEADPOOL and ANT-MAN…

LS: Well, Deadpool makes sense because he, and the X-Men universe, are still controlled by 20th Century Fox. But imagine if all those mutants were here as well! As it is, the excuse for why Ant-Man and Hawkeye weren’t in this one didn’t make much sense to me. I mean, how could it hurt to add two more superheroes to the already huge mix?

DK: There are still a whole lot of heroes here, and they all had a major part to play. It felt less like an Avengers movie than a Marvel Team-Up on steroids.

LS: Oh, you remember that comic book series, do you? You know who else I wish was here? The Fantastic Four. I’m still waiting for a Thing/Hulk team-up in the movies! But once again, they’re tied up in legal mumbo jumbo, which I hope comes to an end when Disney finally gets control of the Fox movie rights. That’s still going to happen, right?

DK: I hope so. I would be great to see the FF get themselves entwined in these MCU Malays. Even in the comics, though, they’ve always been sort of a stand-alone group (except The Thing, who liked to wander from one Team-Up to another… yea, I loved that series).

LS: You’re thinking of the other team-up series, Marvel Two-in-One! The difference was, in Marvel Team-Up, the star was usually Spider-Man, teaming up with someone else (although there were a few issues where the star was the Human Torch instead, but they were seldom). Marvel-Two-In-One was a different series starring The Thing, where he teamed up with other superheroes each month.

And then there was Super Villain Team-Up, where every issue was Doctor Doom and Namor, the Sub-Mariner! How is that a “team-up” book, if it’s the same two guys every issue? And Namor is more of an anti-hero than a villain! Toward the end, they actually included some other villains, but then it got canceled. But I digress.

DK: You certainly did. What do Dr. Doom and Namor have to do with this movie?

LS: I wish they were in it!

DK: Oh, okay. But, for what it is, AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR works; it really, really works. I had to smile early on when Captain America made his appearance. Everyone in the sold-out theater burst into applause. I didn’t clap, and not just because I was taking notes. All I could think, after such an intimidating setup of Thanos’s insanely huge power, was, what can Captain America do? He isn’t even wearing his helmet?

LS: I experienced the same thing. I mean, yeah, it’s cool that Cap’s so popular—my audience applauded his entrance, too—but he seems like small potatoes in the face of a cosmic threat like Thanos. Besides, I’ve always been much more a fan of Thor and Hulk, two guys who could give Thanos more of a challenge.

And you’re right about the helmet. That happens a lot in these movies, because vain actors want to show their faces onscreen, even when it doesn’t make sense. They’re never happy wearing a mask for all the appropriate scenes. The only guy who actually sticks to the mask in all logical ways is DEADPOOL. Who knew Ryan Reynolds would turn out to be the least-egotistical superhero star.

Hell, when Hawkeye is in movies, they never even bother with his cool mask, dammit!

DK: You’re digressing again!

Never mind how Black Widow should have had her neck snapped in the first fight scene because she doesn’t even have super human powers.

LS: Despite the power-levels of each character, they give it their all to protect the Earth! Besides, I just enjoy watching Scarlett Johannson in action, so I’m not complaining.

DK: Hear, Hear!

Aside from every moment the Guardians of the Galaxy were on screen with their newest ally Thor, some of my favorite moments in the film were when Bruce Banner tried like hell to convince Hulk to come out of hiding, and never succeeded. Now and then, Hulk will almost come out, only to say “No” in his endearing Hulk voice, then go away, much to Banner’s frustration. Mark Ruffalo has to be one of the best casting choices in Hollywood history, ever. At first glance he seems so wrong for the part, but he nails it every time!

LS: Now you’ve happened upon one of my few problems with the movie. As a big Hulk fan, I HATED the way Banner was handled this time around. I could understand, where in the plot of RAGNAROK, Hulk could stay the Hulk for long periods of time because of the planet they were on. It didn’t totally make sense, but hey. But there was no reason why Banner couldn’t hulk out in this movie. He’s back on Earth. And Hulk is all about being angry. You’re telling me Banner couldn’t get angry enough in these battle scenes to transform? Hulk and Banner aren’t supposed to have a choice in these things. The way the Hulk refused to come out struck me as majorly stupid. It’s almost like they purposely kept Hulk out of the fight because they wanted to give some of the weaker Avengers a chance to seem more heroic. Or maybe they were implying Hulk was too scared of Thanos to come out. Either way, it pissed me off. And when Banner was put inside the big “Hulkbuster” Iron Man costume, that just added to the embarrassment.

DK: I agree with you there. Him in the Hulkbuster suit was odd, and yeah, it seemed to be more for comic relief (unless they were hoping it would piss off Hulk enough to come out).

LS: When I go to an Avengers movie, I want to see The Hulk! And, except for a brief battle scene early on, Hulk fans get cheated. I’m sorry, I’m just not as big a fan of Banner, and I actually found Ruffalo a bit grating this time around. They tried to make him a comic relief character, and frankly every time he was onscreen it just made me realize how much I missed the real, gets-stronger-as-he-gets-angrier Hulk.

DK: Back to Wakanda. As good as he is, Chadwick Baseman (42, 2013) gets outshone again by the other Wakandans (especially Danai Gurir’s Okoye, Letitia Wright’s Shuri and Winston Duke’s M’Baku), not to mention a couple dozen of his fellow superheroes.

Ok, what else?

LS: You tell me.

DK: A complaint of my own. Yes, I know that early on the theme is that we don’t sacrifice the one for the good of the many, but everyone pretty quickly understands that if Thanos succeeds, half the population of the UNIVERSE is going to die. Knowing this, too often people give up the fight (and whatever Infinity Stone they’re carrying) in order to save one person. I’m sorry, as much as I love my wife, for example, if handing over something to a bad guy would mean a billion, trillion people die, I wouldn’t do it. I’m sure she’d understand.

LS: I found that annoying, too. Some characters make some very dumb choices in this one. I get that there are emotions involved, but it really annoyed me.

DK: In one instance—near the end, so I won’t say who and why—one character, based on the last line they spoke in the film, might have done this deliberately. But again, can’t say any more without spoilers.

LS: Yeah, let’s not go there. Let people have some surprises.

DK: I loved seeing the film in a packed theater. As much of a geek that I am, until now I’d never attended the first showing of an opening night of any MCU film and was amazed how enjoyable seeing the movie in a packed house (which was across the hall from another packed house). Of course, I missed some of the lines spoken, usually because so many people were laughing their butts off.

LS: There were a few funny moments. But not all of the humor worked. Like, the whole Iron Man/Spider-Man patter, started getting on my nerves pretty quickly. I’m getting sick of Spider-Man being treated like an idiot, and I’m getting really tired of Robert Downey, Jr. at this point. His Tony Stark has passed his expiration date. He’s not so cool anymore.

DK: This is also a dark and violent movie, bordering on an R rating (for the sheer volume of the violence, though it’s not super graphic), but I thought it was also very, very funny in spots. Watching the scenes with the Guardians, I wondered how much input James Gunn (who wrote and directed their solo movies) had in the dialogue. He has no writing credits, but their interactions were so spot-on I wonder if this is true. It was also refreshing to have characters curse now and then. While not enough to push the rating beyond PG-13, it was enough to add an extra bit of realness to them.

LS: It only went so far, though. Sometimes the “cursing” was just plain silly. If you’re caught up in the middle of a life-or-death battle, are you really going to tell someone they “Effed up!” like Peter Quill does at one point? Or at one point someone says, “Screw you!”  Come on, give us more believable dialogue! I would have liked it a lot more if it had really pushed over into R-rated territory. But that’s just me.

DK: And the plethora of tween-aged kids sitting around us would have been pretty disappointed they had to stay home, as well.

LS: Who cares!

DK: Disney and the box office. Quick nod to the late, great (in most people’s opinion) comic book artist and writer Jack Kirby who, with Stan Lee, created most of the characters we’re seeing now. Personally, I didn’t like Kirby’s style of artwork, every character was too square and the surrounding scenery too full of weird bubbles (look his stuff up to see what I mean).

LS: Sacrilege! Kirby was one of the best artists in the history of comics precisely because his style was completely his own. Nobody drew like him, and his pure creativity was astounding! Lee might have written the words, but Kirby brought a lot of these characters to life by making them visual for us. But go on…

DK: When they created Thanos for this film, they did so right out of a Kirby comic frame.

LS: That’s funny, because Kirby didn’t create or draw Thanos. Jim Starlin did. And he gets a shout out in the credits. Starlin created, or gave us the definitive versions of, a lot of Marvel’s cosmic characters. Then again, I can’t totally make fun of you for that, because Kirby did create the character Darkseid for DC, who shares a lot of similarities with Thanos. He even has his own powerful henchmen. Remember Steppenwolf from JUSTICE LEAGUE (2017)? He’s a Darkseid henchman. But that’s a discussion for another time.

DK: (Humbled at his writing partner’s encyclopedic geekness!) Though I assume Brolin was there during the shots and read his lines (only have his voice deepened to make it sound more Thanos-like), Thanos himself looks like a CGI character. Even so, it’s easy to let that go because among so many bad guys in films, this one gets some decent development. You may not like him at all by the end of this film…

LS: I did!

DK:…but you do come away understanding him better.

LS: Yeah, one major problem with a lot of the Marvel movies is the lack of a compelling bad guy. It’s a flaw that’s turned up in several of the movies. But Thanos corrects that in a big way. He’s complex, fleshed out, and even if his plans are totally reprehensible, they’re portrayed in a way that at least makes you understand him. And there are even a few moments where you might feel a tiny twinge of sympathy for him (or maybe not).

I also liked his henchmen in this one, who consisted of Cull Obsidian (also known as Black Dwarf in the comics, and played by Terry Notary), Proxima Midnight (Carrie Coon, from the TV shows FARGO and THE LEFTOVERS—I love her!), Corvus Glaive (Michael Shaw) and, of course, the best of the bunch, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor as Ebony Maw.

DK: Yea, he was creepy.

LS: And Thanos and his creepy henchmen might be CGI characters, but the point here is, the CGI effects in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR look terrific! So, it didn’t matter at all.

Another thing that’s different about this movie is the fact that some of the characters actually die this time around. It’s not just a lot of fighting with no big consequences. We’re not going to say who dies, or how, because we’re not going to step into spoiler country, but let’s just say the stakes are higher than ever in INFINITY WAR.

So, I think we’ve said enough about the movie, and what happens. Let’s let people find out the big stuff for themselves. But, overall, what did you think of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR, Dan?

DK: I was completely blown away by this. I could not imagine the filmmakers keeping so many characters interesting and fresh throughout, but they did. It helped a lot to have them all focused on one storyline, but even then, like I said earlier, the actors and crew brought their A-Game to this one. I can honestly say AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR lives up to its hype. As the culmination of the MCU’s ten-year life (so far), I can’t give it any less than 4 Knives.

LS: I have to agree with you. Despite any complaints I had, this one was terrific. Non-stop action, great characters, A-list actors, amazing effects. I give it a big four knives as well.

You know, it’s funny, anyone who has never seen a Marvel movie, and didn’t read comics, and who decided to start with this movie would have absolutely NO IDEA what is going on. There are so many characters and locations and concepts from the comics and previous movies, and INFINITY WAR does not stop for a second to explain any of these things.

It’s amazing that the comic books we grew up with (and which got us labeled nerds) are now so imbedded in popular culture that most people know all of these things now! And it shows the pure storytelling power of Marvel that people have stayed aboard from the beginning through all these movies, enough so that they didn’t need any explanations of what was going on in INFINITY WAR.

In a way, it justifies a big chunk of our childhoods, sitting around reading “funny books.”

DK: Yeah, it kind of does. Hey, are you choking up about this?

LS: No, of course not. Just breathed in some space dust by accident.

DK: Which reminds me. We just crash-landed on an alien planet, that looks uninhabited. How are we going to get home?

LS (looks up at the darkening sky): Well, Dan, I think we’re going to be late for dinner.

© Copyright 2018 by LL Soares & Daniel G. Keohane

 

LL Soares gives AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR ~~ 4 knives

Stab_2Stab_2Stab_2Stab_2

Dan Keohane also gives AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR ~~ 4 knives

Stab_2Stab_2Stab_2Stab_2

ANOTHER SON OF SAM (1977)

Review by LL Soares

Having absolutely nothing to do with the notorious Son of Sam murders in New York in the 70s, Dave Adams’ ANOTHER SON OF SAM (1977) is a bizarre little flick that might be worth seeing at least once (you won’t be tempted to watch it again). Adams was a stunt man on TRUCKER’S WOMAN (1975) and WHISKEY MOUNTAIN (1977) before deciding to write and direct (and act as stunt coordinator) a movie of his own. ANOTHER SON OF SAM, filmed around Charlotte, North Carolina on a shoestring budget,  is the only film he ever made, and his career in films pretty much ended after that. Strangely, I’m not surprised.

The movie begins with a man and a woman riding around on a speedboat. The man is police lieutenant Claude Seltzer (Ross Dubuc) and his girlfriend is Dr. Daisy Ellis (Cynthia Stewart). We then switch to a nightclub and a performance by a lounge singer named Johnny Charro (singing a tearjerker called “I Never Said Goodbye”). We then (finally) get to the action, the story of Harvey, a patient at a mental hospital. We never actually see Harvey’s face (just his eyes and brow at certain times, and his lower body as he walks around in cheap pants that he probably got at K-Mart). When two orderlies take him to his room after shock treatment, Harvey goes nuts and kills them. He also brutally beats his doctor, who turns out to be Dr. Ellis from the speedboat. Harvey escapes, just as Lieutenant Seltzer arrives at the hospital to visit his lady. When he sees her being wheeled out on a gurney, this all becomes personal.

There’s a scene in a park, where the police (including Seltzer) think they’ve cornered the suspect, but he gets away. Harvey then ends up in a college dormitory, sneaked around in his beige chinos and terrorizing sorority girls who have stuck around during spring break. These include blonde Heather (Bonnie Schrier) and her brunette roommate, Tina (Pam Mullins). Just around the time we’re introduced to them, we hear about a theft of $500, and then Darlene Page (Kim Saunders) is sitting in the Dean’s office, saying she thinks Tina stole the money. But before anyone can speak to Tina, she’s murdered by Harvey and Heather finds her. There’s no explanation why Harvey has come to this particular building, or what he has against the girls there, but he skulks around, evading capture, as the police show up. The building is evacuated, but Harvey is holding Heather and Darlene as hostages.

The police are led by tough-talking, bespectacled Captain Thompson (Robert McCourt) and Sgt. Flowers (John Harper), and of course Lt. Seltzer’s there as well. The bunch of them are incredibly inept (one rookie goes looking around on his own and gets killed by Harvey), and decide they can’t handle it and call in the SWAT team, led by Lt. Nelson (Garland Atkins). We then get a lot of shots of a helicopter flying over head (the same shot over and over) and guys in SWAT gear show up. At one point, someone even sees Harvey looking out of a second-story window. But the SWAT team is as useless as the police (what a lame SWAT team!) and they end up tracking down Harvey’s mother (Ann Pierce) to get him to give up.

In some flashbacks we see after they show Harvey’s eyes, we’re given a little bit of his backstory, with Harvey’s mother talking to him as a kid, the implication of the scenes being that incest was involved. This is confirmed later when one of the cops saying that his mom seduced him and that’s how he ended up in the mental hospital. Mom arrives and goes about trying to trick Harvey into surrendering, which of course makes Harvey let his guard down enough for the cops to finish him off. His mother holds his hand as he dies.

ANOTHER SON OF SAM doesn’t have a lot going for it. The acting overall is pretty bad, the settings are drab, the script kind of goes nowhere. Nobody seems competent in their jobs. It’s basically a bad police procedural, and could have been an episode of ADAM-12 or the old SWAT TV show from the 70s, except neither show would have ever bought a script this bad.

To spice things up, cinematographer Harry M. Joyner and editor Adams do some odd camera tricks, like flashing to Harvey’s eyes to create a sense of menace, and whenever anything really bad supposedly happens, the screen freezes. I guess this was supposed to be for emphasis, but really it just makes the filmmaking look ever more amateurish. I found this gimmick to be really annoying as the movie went along.

And there is absolutely no connection to the real-life Son of Sam murders committed by serial killer David Berkowitz. Clearly, the title was just there to exploit the real life crimes and try to trick people in paying for a movie ticket.

There’s nothing really to recommend this one unless you’re a fan of Johnny Charro (called Johny Charro in the credits). Despite all this, I’m glad I saw it just because it’s an obscure little film, and I have a morbid fascination for movies that were directed by people who never made another movie, like Harold P. Warren’s MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (1966) and Carlton J. Albright’s LUTHER THE GEEK (1989). There’s just something intriguing about people who think they can make a movie, fail at it, and then go back to their lives without looking back. And, for some reason, a lot of these seem to be horror movies.

A lot of the cast never appeared anywhere else, either. Although it’s interesting that Pam Mullins, who played Tina, went on to become a successful makeup artist, even working on DOCTOR WHO during the Matt Smith years. I don’t know what became of Johnny Charro.

While I’m glad I saw ANOTHER SON OF SAM once, I can guarantee you I won’t be watching it again. It’s boring and pointless for the most part. You might find yourself fast forwarding through some of the slower scenes. Whether you decide to check it out yourself – well, that’s up to you.

© Copyright 2019 by LL Soares

 

 

 

 

PET SEMATARY (2019)

Review by LL Soares

Am I the only one who thought the 1989 movie version of Stephen King’s PET SEMATARY, directed by Mary Lambert, wasn’t a bad film? I mean, when there’s a decent version of the story already adapted, why be in a rush to remake it? Remakes should be reserved for the numerous Stephen King books that were made into BAD movies, don’t cha think? Or maybe to put some R-rated scares in stories that previously adapted for sanitized TV miniseries on ABC?  In other words, PET SEMATARY wasn’t high on my list of King movies that had to be redone.

The thing is, the new PET SEMATARY isn’t a bad movie. It’s done well, with a good cast. It’s just that it doesn’t have much new to add (except maybe for an unexpected death that may catch King fans by surprise). So when I sat down to watch this version, I have to admit, it didn’t do much for me. I’d seen the story before, just as well done, and so this felt like a waste of an hour and 41 minutes. But that’s just me.

If you’re a horror movie fan, then you already know the story. A family moves from urban Boston to rural Maine to “get away from it all.” The dad’s a doctor who’s sick of working the all-night shifts at the hospital and wants to take it easier. So Louis (Jason Clarke, the underrated actor from “ZERO DARK THIRTY,” 2012, “DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES,” 2014, and “MUDBOUND,” 2017) and his wife, Rachel (Amy Siemetz, from the shows “THE KILLING” and ‘THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE,” and the movie “ALIEN: COVENANT,” 2017) move with their kids, pre-teenager Ellie (Jete Laurence, “THE SNOWMAN,” 2017) and toddler Gage (played by twins Hugo and Lucas Lavoie) to a cabin in the woods. Turns out that there’s a cemetery behind their house in the woods. Kids in the neighborhood bury their dead pets there. Which is kind of creepy, since they turn it into an almost pagan ritual, wearing animal masks in an orderly procession and all.

Even scarier, their house is on the route that huge gas trucks take to get where they’re going. And they go by fast!

There’s also a scruffy neighbor named Jud (John Lithgow, of “RAISING CAIN,” 1992, “RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES,” 2011, and amazing in Season 4 of the series “DEXTER” in 2009), who lost his wife and who could be feeling sorry for himself, but he’s actually a nice guy and befriends first Ellie, then the family. When the family cat, Church, gets run over by a car, Jud tells Louis about a secret graveyard BEHIND the pet cemetery. A spooky, swampy piece of land where Native American tribes used to bury their kin, until they moved away, determining the area was cursed. You see, this second cemetery has supernatural properties. If you bury something there, it comes back to life. Although, not exactly how you remember them.

Jud doesn’t want his daughter to find out her beloved cat is dead, so he follows Jake to the spooky graveyard, buries the cat there, and soon afterwards, it comes back.

Except it’s mangy as hell and really needs a bath. And sometimes it has a really nasty temper now.  

So, after seeing what the graveyard can do, when someone in Louis’s family dies, he sure as hell isn’t going to let them stay dead!

And when a human being is buried in that awful place, that’s when things get really spooky.

As I said, the directors, Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer, who previously gave us the very good horror film, STARRY EYES (2014), do a good job adapting the material. The script is by Jeff Buhler (and Matt Greenberg). There’s not a lot here that’s particularly problematic. It’s a good, solid adaptation. Except that it was already adapted in 1989, as a decent movie, and the new movie just seemed like more of an attempt by the studio to cash in on the resurgence of popularity for Stephen King—thanks to the blockbuster version of IT (2017)—than a movie that really needed to be made. Or, rather, remade.

Everyone involved does a fine job. Nobody embarrasses themselves here. But in the end, it seemed a little pointless. I was going to give it 2 ½ knives because of that – but frankly, I don’t think that’s fair. Just know that if you haven’t seen this story before, you’ll enjoy it. It’s a good movie. But if you’ve already seen it, there aren’t a lot of reasons to see this new one.

© Copyright 2019 by LL Soares